It's been an unbelievably long time since I've blogged. I accepted, with a teaching gig 6 years ago, that I would keep my personal thoughts and feelings off of the internet. I guess I've simply reached a point where I don't care, and I don't have anything interesting to say, in general, so if 16 year olds find my pet peeves and grocery lists intriguing enough to read, FINE!
So...where am I? At the corner of "I Got a Degree in Music for What" and "I'm starting to sigh when I sit down?" Insanity, I tell you. After teaching choral music for 6 years in Kansas, the land of aahhs, and my home for nearly 29 years (29? Jesus) I'm starting to crave unfamiliarity. I'd like to walk down a street and have no idea where the nearest coffee shop is. I'd like to sit at a bar, and ask about a beer on tap I've never heard of, or dared to taste. I'd like to see mountains on a daily basis, and I've realized this is something that has always lived within me. I just stowed it for a few years, bought a house, and "settled down" (as much as I am capable, anyhow). So...is this the normal thought for those of my age? Is this where I want to be? Hell, I have no clue. When do you know?
As I near completion of my thesis (the more I talk about actually writing it, the quicker it gets written, correct?), I wonder if I can start all over. I love music, I love high school students. I just don't feel like myself anymore. Even a trip to the grocery store is a public appearance and 20 minute conversation about work, when I simply needed paper towels and some milk. I envy those who make candles for a living. They show up, are left alone in a fragrant environment, creatively sculpt their work, then go home, and leave their candles at the store. Is this burned out, or is this a dire need to change professions? I want Samantha Brown's job, or Anthony Bourdain. OK, anyone on the Travel Channel could accidentally "take a fall", and I'd be there. How do I get into that?
So, sorry for all of the questioning. These things tend to arise around the first of the new year, and this year is no exception. I hope you are all cozy with your new presents (we got a wii!), and still questioning yourselves a little. I think it's normal. I just forget about it.
